the five stages of a new haircut – the emotions a new haircut

You did it. You chopped your hair into a pixie, got bangs for the first time, or totally changed your layers up. New haircut, new life, big changes. You might feel wonderful, carefree, or even liberated when you leave the salon. After all, you wanted this. You contemplated this haircut for weeks; months even.
Now, here you are with a new, strange hair style. You might find yourself losing your mind, freaking out, or even crying. Don’t worry. It’s normal. Luckily most people make their way through these five stages of new haircut emotions in a matter of hours.

1.  Denial

Sometimes the denial stage of a new haircut comes instantly, but it’s typically the next day when you get in the shower and the dreaded shampoo-shock sets in.
Who’s hair is this anyway? This is not my hair.
Oh.My.God what is this hair?
Then it’s really going to set it when you try styling it for the first time.

2.  Anger

Anger typically sets in directly after denial; literally moments later. You’ll feel your pulse quicken, your blood pressure rise, and your face get hot. This is how you know you’re entering the angry zone.
My stylist is an idiot. Where did she get her license to practice hair anyway; from Edward Scissor Hands?
This hair dryer is junk. These hair products are worthless. There better be a money-back guarantee on this crap.
During this stage it’s best if you slowly step away from all electronic devices. Do not call anyone. Do not attempt to use extreme heat on your hair. Step away from the Google. And remember, your hair dryer and your mirror will break if one launches into the other.
Breathe, and have a piece of chocolate… the next stage is on it’s way.

3.  Bargaining

So you’re angry, and you hate your hairstylist. After all, she’s the moron that let you get this stupid hairstyle. None of your hair products work at all, and you’re about to spend your last dollar on a new hair dryer and some as-seen-on-TV hair product that promises to wash your problems right down the drain. During this stage you start bargaining with the hair gods and hope for some kind of miracle.
Isn’t there something that will regrow my hair, now? Lemme Google that.
Can I diet my way out of this?
If I spend three payments of $29.99, this stuff will totally fix my hair. The TV says so.
Don’t do anything drastic while you’re trying to bargain your way out of this new haircut. While you can call your stylist to tweak your cut, the only way she can help you is by cutting (gulp) more hair off.

4.  Depression

Depression and bargaining typically go hand in hand when coping with your new, “terrible” haircut. You might even cry a little. You might cry a lot. During this phase you will find yourself wandering the aisles of Walgreens, looking for something to pin, clip, or mask your hair.
Hats are totally in this season; I think. So are paper bags.
I will never be trendy. Why can’t I just have a trendy haircut?
It’s just hair, my foot. Whoever said that has never had this haircut.
The depression phase can last minutes, hours, or days. Whatever you do, do not take matters into your own hands. Hide all your scissors. Wait this one out. You can do this.

5、 Acceptance

Finally. Acceptance. Sure you might have to learn some new tricks with your flat iron, perfect that blowout that your hairstylist does, or try some new hair products along the way, but eventually you learn to accept your new hairstyle. After all, the girl at the coffee shop complimented your new look, and you caught your husband taking a second glance the other day. didn’t you?

Maybe this new, trendy cut is totally me. It is totally me. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and schedule my next cut right now. My stylist is a genius. Maybe more layers, or a bolder fringe. I wonder how short I can wear my hair, anyway.